WHERE I STAND WITH MLMs: Finding My Voice, Taking Responsibility for Harm, & New Boundaries.
Key Terms
1. MLM and Network Marketing:
Multi-level marketing (MLM) - often used interchangeably with network marketing - is a business model in which independent distributors sell a company’s products directly to consumers and can also earn commissions on the sales made by the distributors they recruit. This creates multiple “levels” of compensation within the organisation.
Source: Investopedia - “Multi-Level Marketing (MLM): What It Is and How It Works”
2. Open-Hearted Relationships
Open-Hearted Relationships are reciprocal connections grounded in unconditional love, mutual care, honesty, and the freedom to be your true self without performance, pressure, or hierarchy. They honour one’s inherent inner power, wisdom, and worth. Open-Hearted Relationships recognise that not all bodies move through the world with equal safety or privilege - and intentionally make space for this complexity. This is the relational paradigm my work is devoted to building and protecting.
3. Transactional Relationships
Transactional relationships are conditional relationships where connection and love depends on what you can do, give, or perform - not who you truly are - and often attempt to over-ride your internal source of power, wisdom and worthiness. They involve complicity in oppressive systems (harm to self and others). This is the old relational paradigm many of us were raised in.
Below is a TL;DR with the summary of new boundaries.
After that, you’ll find the entire story - and contemplations that helped me arrive to this point.
TL;DR - My Boundaries With MLMs
1. I do not support MLM/Network Marketing as a business model.
MLMs operate from a transactional relational paradigm that conflicts with Open-Hearted Relationships and relational intelligence.
While there is nuance in simple referral culture, the MLM structure itself rests on faulty foundations of hierarchy, extraction, and recruitment.
I do not believe the industry can be transformed from within, and therefore it is not a pathway to empowerment I can ethically support.
2. I cannot support or mentor anyone seeking help to grow, promote, or recruit within an MLM.
This means I will no longer accept new clients, mentees, or program participants whose primary intention is to use my work - including self-expression, visibility, relational skills, or leadership development - to advance their MLM business, increase recruitment, or sell a lifestyle connected to MLM narratives.
3. I will not collaborate at a team level with anyone building an MLM business.
This means I won’t join, co-facilitate, speak in, mentor, train, or contribute to any group space, community call, team event, or leadership container that exists to grow or support an MLM organisation.
I also won’t be inviting any MLM-aligned team members, assistants, or contractors into my own business. If someone is actively building or recruiting within an MLM, we won’t be a fit for working together in any collaborative, professional, or behind-the-scenes capacity.
4. I will continue working with clients who casually share products or services they genuinely love and receive referral fees for (when it’s not tied to recruitment).
To me, there is a difference between:
building an MLM through recruitment of team members, and
sharing something you genuinely love and receiving a small thank-you (whether it’s MLM-related or not).
If you’re simply recommending something you’d share anyway - that’s usually aligned. If you’re actively building or recruiting within an MLM - that’s not something I can ethically support, and we likely won’t be a fit.
There is nuance here. These situations are best clarified through an honest, human-to-human conversation so we can make decisions from reflection, transparency, and discernment.
Note. This is likely to further evolve to a blanket rule of not supporting referrals of any MLM based products in order to not give any power to MLM structures. I am starting here, to allow my current clients and others, to digest all of this and do their own research.
5. I cannot be in professional or social affiliations that make clients feel unsafe to speak their truth with me.
My first priority is relational safety. I cannot be in professional or social affiliations that make clients feel unsafe to speak their truth with me - including harm or experiences related to MLMs.
For this reason, I am not aligned with, affiliated with, or prioritising any MLM organisations, leadership circles, or friendships in ways that would compromise a client’s ability to be fully honest with me.
My work requires that people feel safe to bring me:
their shame
their confusion
their harm
their stories
their financial experiences
their relational wounds
and their unspoken truths
If any association I hold makes someone silence themselves, second-guess their truth, or feel they have to “protect” me from their experience, then it is not an aligned relationship for me to maintain.
6. I am critiquing systems, not people.
This is not an attack on individuals. These are boundaries I’ve arrived at after years of contemplation and a willingness to confront where I have been complicit in causing harm. I do not claim to have all the answers. This is simply where I am starting.
INTRODUCTION: Why I’m Speaking About MLMs
For years I’ve been contemplating MLMs (multi-level-marketing schemes), but in the last few months it has reached a point where silence feels out of integrity.
MLMs carry a lot of controversy.
A lot of confusion.
A lot of pain.
As someone who is devoted to “the unspoken,” the taboo, the shadows, the things we hide in shame - it has now become time for me to speak on this.
I reached a point of self-honesty where I acknowledged turning a blind eye to this business model had directly impacted my clients and was ultimately getting in the way of the work I’m truly here to do.
Today, I’m sharing:
- my experiences
- my contemplations
- the uncomfortable truths
- the parts I had to look at within myself
- the broader societal context
- the boundaries I am now putting in place
It may feel obvious to some of you reading this.
It may feel revealing to some of you.
It may feel uncomfortable.
It may feel like a sigh of relief: “She finally said it.”
Whatever it is for you - I trust you will receive what you need.
MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCES WITH MLMs
I grew up in Australia where my first exposure to network marketing was fun little gatherings my sister dragged me along to when I was a teenager. A bunch of grown up women laughing, passing things around in a circle, eating snacks.
It was such a novelty!
It felt harmless.
Innocent.
We went home with apricot scrubs for our faces, and cute containers with cool lids for our food storage!
It would be years later before MLMs came back into my orbit.
Aged 27, I was burnt out from my career in social welfare. I felt called to something different.
More freedom.
More creativity.
More expression.
I had a strong therapeutic background in psychology and mental health, but I didn’t yet know how to sell my own work or build a business.
A lot of people I knew were selling Thermomixes. My sister had one, and I loved it. So.. off I went to a Thermomix party!
Within hours… a stranger from said party was rushing me to emergency with near-anaphylaxis, from accidentally eating a dip with nuts in it.
After getting antihistamines injected into my butt, and feeling extremely vulnerable and alone for hours - I caught a taxi back to my home and never considered thermomix again.
(Of course this was 100% my own fault for eating the dip. At the time, I simply took it as a sign to stay away).
Years later, I was focused on building my coaching business.
Like many other people back then - I had a constant stream of MLM messages in my inbox.
Every single time, I said no. No matter how great they told me it was - I told them the same thing.
“I need to focus on my unique work in the world, I do not wish to be distracted by whatever that is.”
Then, in 2017, after shifting from 1:1 work to group programs, I achieved my first “$50k month.” At the time this was a huge marker of success.
I had more visibility than ever, more requests for interviews and to speak on stages - and most importantly, I had more people in my world I could help with my work.
Although this is what I had been dreaming of... I felt incredibly stretched. I was experiencing overwhelm with all the hats I was wearing, plus pressure to keep “performing” publicly.
This is when I received a call from a… “kind-of” friend.
He told me he was reaching out to people who he looked up to, who were doing well in business and he felt needed extra support (with their health).
Honestly, my ego was flattered lol.
Part of me did want more connection with him.
And without sleeping on it to actually tune it with what was best for my body and my health, I said yes - believing that he had a point about me being so busy and needing to prioritise convenience in my health routine.
And that is how I said yes to Isagenix.
I did not actively promote this at all. I still focused on my work in the world. However, in full disclosure - one of my clients did ask me about my health practices and asked if she could also try these products. I sold her a box of products. It would have cost her a few hundred dollars. I remember receiving about $70. I regret that.
There were a few people confused by my choice. My great aunt one of them, and my sister another one. Rightly so.
I had just spent years detoxing from the medical system (after a lifetime of experiencing eczema/asthma/allergies) - and was part of the real food, back to nature movement. I even helped my sister open an organic cafe and shop…
So, why did I say yes to this?
The allure of relationship and belonging, not taking time to think, and making a decision from overwhelm rather than my own power.
Luckily, my body stepped in again for me.
Just a mere few months later, I was eating some isagenix bar at 9pm in my Sydney kitchen (one which I had eaten before)… when I had another near-anaphylactic reaction.
(The only major one since the Thermy incident).
This time as my throat was closing, I took an anti-histamine and all the herbal tinctures I had on my bench, and guided myself through a relaxation practice.
I listened to my body, I breathed, it calmed.
I never touched the products again, and deleted the company from my life.
BUT …
This wasn’t enough for me apparently. I hadn’t yet learnt my lesson!
Years later…
Came the final ordeal.
A very close friend of mine offered to pay for part of a product for me - as a gift, a thank you for helping him look after his children that weekend.
It took me by surprise.
And honestly, it was a confusing offer.
Although I had begun researching further about MLMs and lightly contemplating some of the issues by that time - my friendship with this particular person and his family was one of the very reasons I was scared to actually confront some of the uncomfortable truths I had come across.
What a perfect storm for growth.
Because he was a close friend.. it felt weird to say no to a “gift”.
It felt awkward.
Perhaps I was embarrassed to refuse the “gift” (which was substantial but also leave me in $5k debt to pay off).
Perhaps, I was scared to stand in my power because I didn’t feel I yet had the words to describe the feelings that MLMs gave me.
Perhaps, I had spent years thinking the product was a good investment and something I did one day want due to years of hearing the same narrative about it (and also because there wasn’t many alternatives to it on the market originally compared to now).
Perhaps, I was simply scared to risk a friendship with someone who I adored.
I have replayed this scenario many times in my mind. In hindsight, I would have said “thank you but flowers will be fine”.
(Alas, we wouldn’t have ended up here with all this rich learning though would we?).
In that moment when he asked, I hadn’t fully made up my mind about MLMs.
I wasn’t clear.
I wasn’t grounded.
I wasn’t in my truth.
So I said yes - even though something in me felt so.. off.. about it.
This time, my throat didn’t close because of nuts.
This time, I closed it myself.
I shut myself down.
I silenced my self.
I harmed myself.
It ended with me being left with debt for product I didn’t actually truly want, or have the means to pay for.
So naturally when I had resistance paying the repayments, and my friend was calling me to work out what was going on, it forced me to confront the unspoken…
Why did I say yes
Where was my voice?
What was I afraid of?
Where did I abandon myself?
Where do I need to take accountability for this?
This experience created an opportunity for me to understand the relational dynamics inside MLMs in a way that all the reading, all the research, all the watching-from-afar never could.
It showed me, viscerally, how the relational template in MLMs works - even unintentionally.
Later, I also heard from someone in the organisation that my “sale” had counted toward a bonus that weekend.
I don’t know if that’s true.
A part of me didn’t even want to investigate because it’s too painful to consider. I bring it up here though because I’ve seen the other side…
I’ve had friends reaching out to people when they’re trying to hit a target.
So whether or not my situation was part of that, I’m aware it happens.
Little did I know at this point… the storm had only just begun.
I didn’t at all have the full picture.
My relationship with this person - and my fear of disrupting the friendship - prevented me from really diving in deeper.
The truth is, I didn’t want to see the whole truth.
I didn’t want to understand my responsibility as a business owner, a therapist, a leader, a coach.
I wasn’t ready to acknowledge how MLM dynamics were quietly harming my clients… or how much these patterns were interfering with the work they came to me for.
Eventually… I had to.
A conflict of interest with a client bought things further to a head.
What followed were a series of conversations - conversations I am truly grateful for. With that client in question (where things got resolved), and also with my friend...
My friend met me with honesty, and I met him with mine.
We tried to understand each other’s perspectives, motivations, and blind spots.
And while nothing with him was fully resolved, those exchanges finally cracked something in me.
They led me to the two truths I could no longer avoid:
1. If I saw this problem “out there,” I needed to look at where it lived within me - in how I sold, communicated, or softened myself to be liked.
and
2. I had to face what I had been unconsciously ignoring - the ways my clients had been harmed by MLM structures in the past, and how I hadn’t fully understood the depth of that harm until I experienced it.
These conversations, over nearly 18 months, became a catalyst.
They inspired me into deep self-examination.
They forced me to see what I had been avoiding.
And they brought me right here - to the new clarity and boundaries I am communicating.
THE TWO HARDEST PARTS I HAD TO FACE WITHIN MYSELF
1. If I see harm “out there,” where does it live within me?
I had to look at:
where my own sales weren’t fully aligned in my own business / therapeutic practice
where I used subtle relational strategies
where I unintentionally made people feel “special” to soften a yes
where I created urgency without truth
where I spoke to people’s fears instead of their power
where my own survival strategies were still driving parts of my business
This was humbling.
Uncomfortable.
Necessary.
Now I ask:
How do I support self-trust, not pressure?
How do I offer sales transparently, not manipulatively?
How do I honour people’s timelines, not rush them?
How do I ensure no one thinks they “need” my work?
How do I embody reciprocal, ethical, relational business?
This is ongoing work. I am far from perfect. Part of my responsibility also exists in how I offer training to practitioners in my programs to support their own ethical sales practices.
2. My clients didn’t feel safe telling me the extent of their MLM harm
This one made me really sad.
Some of my clients did tell me things, but downplayed their pain.
And some I found out recently, never shared with me just how intensely they had been harmed by MLMs - losing thousands (sometimes tens of thousands), feeling excluded, shamed, confused, or used - because they never felt safe to tell me.
Why?
Because I had friends in MLMs.
Because I was associated.
Because they didn’t want to offend me.
Because they … didn’t trust me with it.
This is the opposite of what I stand for.
I am meant to be the safe place for:
shame
trauma
secrets
confusion
the taboo
the unspoken
If my affiliations make someone silence themselves, something is off and it is my responsibility to look at that.
UNDERSTANDING THE BROADER CONTEXT OF MLMs (& what actually concerns me)
When I look at a problem (sometimes after much resistance!)… I like to look at the largest context it sits in.
MLMs don’t stand alone.
They operate inside a vast human system shaped by capitalism, colonisation, systemic racism and privilege, gendered labour and care burdens, intergenerational trauma, economic instability, hyper-individualism - and the breakdown of communal, village-based life.
While MLMs were not born from collapse, they grow strongest in the fractures of our modern world, gaining momentum wherever systems fail to support us.
My reflections on MLMs evolved alongside my work in care industries and my contemplations on:
exploitation in “helping” professions
emotional labour
privilege, access, and oppression
spiritual bypassing
women’s burnout
community disconnection
loneliness
systemic harm
Recruitment-driven MLM messaging speaks directly into the gaps created by these failures:
the collapse of community
the isolation of mothers
rising cost of living
lack of support for caregivers
economic precarity
longing for belonging
yearning for meaning
the exhaustion of doing life alone
MLMs highlight these cracks. They flourish in the spaces where people are unsupported, unseen, and overwhelmed.
Understanding this gave me compassion, and clarity.
While MLMs arise from legitimate needs, the structure itself creates patterns I cannot ignore - especially as a therapist, leader, and relational practitioner.
Here are some of the things I’ve begun to name which started out as that “off” or “ick” feeling I didn’t know how to articulate.
1. Recruitment is often disguised as care
“Connection” becomes intertwined with sales.
Friendship and commerce blur. People can’t tell if they’re cared for… or targeted.
2. Individual identity becomes intertwined with a wider MLM identity through shared language and beliefs
MLMs give people a ready-made belief system, community, and purpose - which they encourage them to take on board in order to succeed.
Naturally then, critique of the broader MLM narratives can then feel like personal attack.
3. Emotional labour is exploited
Women provide hours of unpaid mentoring, content creation, mindset support, and visibility - with no guarantee of income.
They are told they are entering into a new pathway of freedom and uncapped income. In reality, getting a job would at least see them be paid a wage for the hours they put in.
4. Conditional belonging
You’re “in” when you’re performing. You’re “out” when you’re not. It mirrors transactional relationships, not reciprocal ones.
5. The promise of freedom rarely matches the reality
Most people - especially women seeking financial relief - do not make a profit. Many earn less than minimum wage for immense effort.
Many unknowingly become unpaid volunteers for a corporation they do not own.
Are there outliers to the norm? For sure…
But, what is the true cost of them for “making it’?
6. It is framed as an escape from capitalism but it is rooted deeply in it… (in a way which can be hypocritical, dismissive and in direct contradiction to MLM marketing).
MLMs amplify capitalism’s most extractive elements: unpaid labour, insecurity, individual blame, and impossible meritocracy.
Many of my clients were confused how much of the marketing is about exiting the system and escaping 9-5pm roles (so that they are no longer “slaves”)… and yet leaders high up in the MLM business structure would be employing people (.. “slaves”… in their language) in 9-5pm roles, and visiting businesses / using social structures which heavily relied on people in these roles (ie. medical centres, grocery stores, cafes etc).
7. Community is often paywalled
The “sisterhood” often requires buying:
more product
coaching
masterminds
conferences
upgraded tiers
Connection becomes conditional.
8. Vulnerable groups are most affected
Mothers, care workers, women exhausted by systems, trauma survivors, and those seeking community are the ones historically most often recruited - and most often harmed.
9. Shame replaces clarity
When it doesn’t work, women blame themselves.
Not the structure.
Not the maths.
Not the systemic context.
I saw this lots in my clients, and honestly… we have enough shame clearing to do in this world. We don’t need more of it that is human constructed to do this unconscious, self-serving behaviour within MLMs.
10. It conflicts with relational safety and reciprocity
MLMs rely on:
strategic intimacy
emotional leverage
hierarchical dynamics
blurred boundaries
performance-based belonging
language which distorts the truth (this reminds me of my experience working with Domestic Violence - and seeing the role of dismissing, gaslighting etc).
All of which are incompatible with Open-Hearted Relationships and relational intelligence.
This clarity is not about attacking people inside MLMs.
It’s about naming the architecture, the patterns, and the relational dynamics that simply cannot coexist with the values and paradigm I’m devoted to building.
THE NUANCE: WHAT I CAN STILL GET BEHIND
I love referrals.
I love when people rave about products or people they genuinely adore.
I love businesses and social enterprises that do good for humans and the world, and role model eco-friendly practices.
I love circular economy.
I love community-based sharing.
Someone recommending a product, practitioner, book, or candle - regardless of whether they get paid for it or not - is cool.
Someone getting $5 or 10% or whatever as a thank-you - also cool. This makes sense to me.
Although nuanced, this system of sharing can be ecological.
PS. I have to acknowledge there is obviously also a bigger conversation here about ecology, how products are made, and the impact on Earth.
(aka, is it ethical to share things from Amazon or from businesses which are known to use child labour? Should I be including a Spotify link here when the creator of Spotify is exploiting artists and funding war efforts?).
All very relevant to this conversation but this requires its own article and contemplations. And is further evidence that I do not have all the answers, and I am still no doubt harming the world through some of my choices.
Human existence is wild, and perverse, and beautiful, and highly nuanced all in one. If we do not embrace the paradox we will go mad. What is in our control, is to start somewhere rather than nowhere. And to love ourselves for where we are at each step.
MY NEW BOUNDARIES WITH MLMS
See beginning of article for my list of six principles to guide how I interact with MLM and networking marketing structures - and the individuals involved with them.
WHY WE DON’T TYPICALLY TALK ABOUT MLMs (or systems of harm)
Talking about MLMs is incredibly hard.
Often it’s our friends - and ourselves - who are benefiting from systems that are actually creating harm. And that’s a hard pill to swallow.
Unless we are truly ready to be separate & sovereign from harmful structures, we will stay silent.
Here are even more reasons this conversation feels so taboo:
1. Individuals involved in MLMs often haven’t done the contextual work
Without understanding capitalism, colonisation, privilege, gendered labour, or power, MLMs look empowering.
They appear to offer freedom, sovereignty, community - and without deeper context, the critique feels confusing or threatening.
2. The identity of individuals involved in MLMs becomes fused with the narrative
MLMs don’t just sell products - they cultivate belief systems. Those beliefs become intertwined with:
identity
self-worth
belonging
purpose
hope
survival
To question the MLM is to question the self - which can feel incredibly hurtful, offensive, shocking, and intolerable.
3. Questioning MLMs threatens emotional & financial safety
For many people, MLMs represent:
a way out
a dream of freedom
a community
a sense of purpose
an identity
a future storyline
To question it threatens all of that.
4. It risks identity collapse - and collapse is terrifying
When someone’s entire worldview or future plan is built on an MLM narrative, confronting its flaws can feel like the ground disappearing beneath them.
Collapse isn’t just uncomfortable - it’s existential.
It provokes an incredible sense of uncertainty (which was likely already present before they joined the MLM - and may have been one of the reasons why they joined.. to feel more certain and secure in a world on fire).
5. Many genuinely believe they’re helping people
And often, within the limits of the structure, they are. Sometimes. Again there is a lot of nuance here.
When someone truly believes they are helping someone, any critique of the broader system they are existing in - can feel very personal and like an accusation.
6. They believe the system can be changed from within
Unfortunately unconditional love cannot thrive inside architecture built on hierarchy, extraction, and emotional leverage.
The structure shapes the potential.
7. Shame & sunk-cost fallacy
For those involved in MLMs, it can be embarassing and confronting to admit:
they were manipulated
they lost money
they were promised things that didn’t materialise
they recruited others into something that harmed them
they didn’t research more or apply critical thinking because of how desperate they were, or because they trusted the person introducing the product/business
they ignored their intuition
These are enormous emotional weights.
8. Defensive narratives activate instantly
“I’m not in an MLM.”
“It’s not a pyramid scheme.”
“We’re different.”
“You don’t understand.”
“You’re being negative.”
“You’re attacking me.”
“Even if I don’t make my money back, I love the product and community.”
“All jobs are a pyramid scheme. Every system is flawed.”
These responses are protective shields - and can make it hard to sit with someone and have a bigger conversation about the context MLMs exist in.
9. It feels like a personal attack, even when it isn’t
Because relationships are so entangled in MLM structures, critique often lands as:
“You’re saying I’m a bad person.”
“You’re judging my choices.”
“You’re rejecting me.”
“You don’t support me as a human being.”
Even when the conversation is about the broader structure.
10. MLMs are a response to societal collapse
MLMs don’t exist in a vacuum. They fill the gaps created by:
lack of village support
isolation of mothers
burnout
rising living costs
precarious employment
lack of community
the collapse of collective care
the longing for belonging
They are survival responses - not stupid, naive, or ignorant choices. It can be hard to have these conversations though when we feel powerless to make change at a systemic level, and we’re simply worried about how to pay for our own rent and food.
11. Because raising concerns can cost relationships
This part carries a lot of grief.
Speaking up about MLM harm can mean:
losing friendships
being misunderstood
being accused of judgment or betrayal
being projected on
being cut out
being seen as “negative,” “jealous,” or “unsupportive”
For many, the risk of relational rupture is too high.
Some stay silent to avoid losing people they care about.
Some stay silent because the pain of being misinterpreted is too great.
Some stay silent because the group narrative is so strong that dissent feels dangerous.
There is real grief in this.
12. MLM narratives are often designed to make people doubt themselves
The messaging is powerful:
“You’re the problem.”
“You lack belief.”
“You didn’t work hard enough.”
“You’re blocked.”
“You’re in fear.”
“You don’t want it badly enough.”
“You’re not coachable.”
These lines are not just marketing - they become internalised as truth.
People end up judging themselves, not the structure.
Whether inside the MLM or watching from the outside, the conditioning is strong enough that many women ask:
“Why don’t I fit in?”
“What’s wrong with me?”
“Why doesn’t this feel right?”
Nothing is wrong with them.
The structure just isn’t relationally safe.
13. When we finally speak up, we’re often dysregulated
Most people only speak out when:
they feel harmed
they feel used
their trauma has been activated
they’ve hit an emotional breaking point
their inner child feels abandoned or betrayed
So the conversation doesn’t always come from the most empowered place - because it’s coming from a wound.
And what happens next?
People inside the MLM, operating from empowerment-bypass culture, often tear them apart:
“She’s negative.”
“She’s in victim mode.”
“She doesn’t take responsibility.”
“She’s jealous.”
“She’s projecting.”
This dynamic causes even more harm.
14. Because multiple truths exist - and humans are complex
We are all doing our best with the tools we have. No one has a monopoly on truth.
I believe:
multiple truths can exist at once
everyone is trying to work life out
nobody sees the full picture
we all hold blind spots
we are all shaped by story, survival, and hope
we are all creators of our reality
we are all impacted by systems
we are all here to grow
we are all human
This is not about villainising individuals. It is about naming unspoken patterns that harm us collectively.
We’ve all harmed people with our actions (and been harmed ourselves).
All we can do is dare to look within, open ourselves to uncomfortable truths, offer ourselves compassion, and explore what actions we wish to make moving forward
I’ve worked inside systems that cause harm - and I’ve seen how this works…
My insight into MLMs doesn’t come from theory alone or only the world of entrepreneurship. It comes from years inside:
the immigration system
child protection
domestic violence services
sexual assault services
community services
mental health systems
care-based industries
trauma-informed roles
I have seen how systems create harm even when individuals within them are good, kind, loving humans.
MLMs operate the same way.
This conversation is a stepping stone toward bigger systemic conversations I am now finally ready, resourced, and prepared to hold.
WHERE TO FROM HERE? (as a society)
OPEN-HEARTED RELATIONSHIPS: A Natural Evolution & The Future of Healing
Open-Hearted Relationships are reciprocal, relationally intelligent connections grounded in unconditional love, mutual care, honesty, presence, and self-trust - while honouring identity, culture, trauma, capacity, ecology, and systemic context.
They move us from transactional, conditional relating → into reciprocal, unconditional relating. This is humanity’s natural evolution.
They are relationships rooted in:
honesty without harm
boundaries without fear
intimacy without coercion
connection without extraction
mutual care without power struggles
inclusion without dogma
spirituality without superiority
ecology without disconnection
This is the relational paradigm I’m here to build. And it is incompatible with MLM structures.
WHY MLMs CONFLICT WITH OPEN-HEARTED RELATING
MLMs fundamentally rely on transactional relational templates, including:
strategic intimacy
conditional inclusion (“you’re in if you’re performing”)
performance-based praise and belonging
emotional leverage (“I believe in you - join my team”)
recruitment through relationship
hierarchy disguised as community
connection tied to output, loyalty, or rank
pressure to conform to group identity
Even with loving intentions, the structure itself creates:
conditional relationships
blurred boundaries
confusion between care and recruitment
emotional entanglement
power imbalances
misdirected trust
This is the opposite of reciprocal, unconditional relating, which requires sovereignty, truth, mutuality, and emotional safety.
A NOTE ON UNCONDITIONAL LOVE (so it isn’t misunderstood)
Unconditional love does not mean tolerating harm, accepting abuse, or allowing people to treat you however they want.
Reciprocal and unconditional relationships are rooted in compassion - and compassion isn’t always soft.
Sometimes compassion is:
saying no
naming harm
setting boundaries
refusing to enable harmful behaviour
honouring your needs and truth
Unconditional love is not the absence of limits - it is the presence of integrity.
Integration = integration of our inner-parts, allowing us to act in harmony with our inner-truth. Trauma, unresolved grief, and oppressive experiences all result in psyche fragmentation, and distrust within ourself, with others and with life itself.
When we practice building trust in ourself, others and life again (through relational work in safe, healing relationships) - we open to the experience of unconditional love within ourselves. From this place, we can learn to create and maintain relational templates that invite others into their own truth, boundaries, and authenticity.
This is the foundation of Open-Hearted Psychology - and why MLM structures cannot align with it. They are opposing constructs.
WHERE TO FROM HERE? (as individuals)
AN INVITATION TO THOSE IN MLMs & TO THOSE WHO HAVE LEFT AND DON’T KNOW WHAT’S NEXT
Before anything else, I invite you to begin with your voice - and your personal destiny.
I believe every one of us is here to live our own legend.
Our personal destiny is written inside us.
And when we follow that inner script - not someone else’s - we become part of nature again.
We grow the way nature grows: organically, reciprocally, truthfully.
When we honour our true self, we don’t need to make others feel small.
We don’t need to shrink or perform.
We simply blossom - the way an acorn becomes an oak tree, not because it tries, but because it is one.
But when we haven’t done the inner work to discover our true nature, it’s very easy to get swept into someone else’s dream.
And I’ve seen this so many times with my clients:
They wanted to become their true selves.
They wanted freedom.
They wanted meaning.
And along the way, someone invited them to a conference, or shared an “alternate pathway,” or showed them a lifestyle, and it felt like the doorway to their destiny.
But when I sit with them in True Self Alignment work, their real dream looks nothing like that blueprint.
Network marketing is almost never part of their soul’s architecture.
Their real dream is gentler, deeper, wiser, and profoundly more theirs.
So if you're feeling stirred right now, my recommendation - lovingly - is this:
Do the work to discover your true path.
Not the path you inherited.
Not the path you were sold.
Not the path someone else is projecting onto you.
Your path.
Because just like the acorn already holds the oak tree within it, you already carry your blueprint.
Skipping that inner work and adopting someone else’s blueprint will never give you the nourishment, fulfilment, or purpose your soul is seeking.
Your nourishment is inside you.
Your destiny is inside you.
Your calling is inside you.
And the world needs you as you - not as a copy of someone else’s dream.
If this stirs something in you, I invite you to ask:
Is this really my dream?
Does this align with my values?
Is this truly unconditional love?
Am I shrinking or performing?
What is my actual mission?
Where is shame holding me hostage?
What legacy do I truly want to create?
Your true path is inside you.
And yes - it might be employment, study, building a craft slowly, working 9–5, starting a different business, or creating something entirely new.
There is no shame in any of that.
We need village-minded people in all areas of society.
New models are needed for us to thrive.
And if you’ve joined an MLM because you’re frustrated with the systems we currently have -
because you want mothers to have more time,
because you want care professionals to be valued,
because you want families to be supported,
because you want community again,
because you want freedom from burnout and extraction -
I hear you!
I believe in that vision too.
Your longing is not wrong.
Your desire for a better world is not wrong.
Your instincts are not wrong.
My suggestion, however, is this:
Connect back to yourself.
To your true nature.
To your inner blueprint.
To the architecture that already lives within your body and wants to be expressed through you.
Instead of trying to build freedom inside a system that was never designed to hold it -
explore the systems and ideas already growing inside you.
Explore the visions, values, and structures that feel reciprocal, ecological, relational, and true.
You may find that what you’re meant to build is not inside the MLM model -
but parallel to it.
Outside it.
Beyond it.
Something new.
Something grounded in relational safety and unconditional love.
Something that actually honours mothers, care workers, children, families, and communities.
Because the foundations of MLMs simply cannot hold the growth, liberation, nourishment, and social repair your soul is trying to create.
You are here for more than someone else’s script.
You are here to take part in building the future of care.
You are here to help midwife new systems - not fall into the fragments of the old ones.
Your truth matters.
Your voice matters.
Your path matters.
And the world needs what is uniquely, powerfully, entirely yours.
If you’ve read this far, thank you.
I love you.
And I’m here - always - walking this open-hearted path beside you.
Tessa xx
“We’re all walking each other home.” - Ram Dass
Further Reading / Resources
From Boss Babe To Bankrupt (Article)
https://www.uqba.com.au/resources/publications/from-boss-babe-to-bankrupt/
Multi-Level Marketing Is The Gutter Of Capitalism (Article)
https://jessicamann1423.medium.com/multi-level-marketing-is-the-gutter-of-capitalism-174adc9e8aaa
The Dream (Podcast)
https://open.spotify.com/show/69SbOSdWtOYpJArpX6KczL?si=ucpQ3EW6QnOO5XX9APl3SQ
Little Bosses Everywhere (Book)
https://www.booktopia.com.au/little-bosses-everywhere-bridget-read/ebook/9780593443934.html